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Please Stop Asking This Question

Robin Sacks
3 min readOct 21, 2021

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Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

I have a 14 year old daughter who is starting to look at colleges and universities. She is a great student and a great athlete (biased, but accurate). As people learn about the plan to continue her education, the same question is asked over and over and over again — “What do you want to do?”

I have to laugh when I hear it.

It’s a question we have all asked many times, to both kids and to adults. Many of us have even asked ourselves that question (many of us, more than once!). Outside of the very few who seem to know exactly what they want to do with the rest of their lives by the time they leave high school, most people aren’t sure ‘what they want to be when they grow up,’ regardless of whether they are 14 or 44.

But this question has gotten me thinking.

It’s got me thinking about how, if we ask the opposite question first, we can get closer to what we do want more quickly and with more clarity.

Think about it.

Instead of asking yourself (or other people), “What do you want to do?”, ask “What do you not want to do?”

Instead of asking yourself (or other people), “What do you want to be?”, ask , “What do you not want to be?”

We spend too much time attempting to identify who we are when we should be spending more…

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Robin Sacks
Robin Sacks

Written by Robin Sacks

I speak, coach, and write about confidence, self-talk, and stress management. I also live for cozy mysteries and bad (read: good) puns.

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